The Growth of A Gem

My jordan year is a week away & I can truly say I’m happy with the woman I’m becoming. I’ve accomplished so much at the age of twenty-two and can appreciate the work I’ve put in to get me where I am today. Before my birthday and trip to Mexico, I want to take a look back at the growth I’ve managed to manifest over the year.

1. Learned to love myself again

Before the later part of twenty-two, I didn’t know how to love myself. I was the type of female who constantly looked for a guy to love her. I’d crave for a man to want me, but the love was not actual love, it was lust! Confusing love and lust became a huge problem for me. I would fall for boys who wanted nothing more than to be inside of me. It got to the point where I had lost myself. I’d mask my pain with sex and more sex, believing each time the next guy would be different.

Eventually I’d come to my senses and I thank God for that. It was after I started reading self help books, I realized I needed to make some major changes in order to live the life I’ve always wanted. I started writing and hanging affirmations all around my room; on my dresser on my whiteboard, everywhere! Seeing and reading the words everyday helped me so much. I was able to learn to myself and realize my self worth. I no longer cared for just sex and knew the right guy would wait for as long as I needed…

2. Lasted at my first corporate job a year

Although I’m not a huge a fan of my job, I finally made a year. (It’s actually a little over a year at this point) I’ve always been the type to hop from job to job, especially when I was not happy with what I was doing. This is the second job since I started working back in high school where I was able to hold onto it for at least a year. Since this is my first corporate job, it makes me proud to see the improvement I’m making lasting in jobs over a year. No HR person wants to hire someone that hops from job to job so this is a big accomplishment for me because I didn’t even think I’d last a year. The next goal is to find a job I actually enjoy, but that’s a post for another time …

3. Removed friends that weren’t for me

With growth, sometimes you need to review your tribe. The people you surround yourself with have an impact on your actions, choices and overall mental health whether you want to believe it or not. I had friends that constantly held me back from growing. The influence they had on me was horrible and negatively impacted my growth.

However, it’s hard to just cut friends off, especially if you’ve been friends for so long and have so much history. But I knew what I wanted out of life… They couldn’t see my vision and I had to let it go. The memories we’ve shared will always be there but it was time for me to let a few of them go.

Although these aren’t major changes, I’m very proud of the gem I’m becoming. Looking back at last year, I’ve made so major growth. I’m beyond excited to see how much more growth I’m able to accomplish during my Jordan year.

Stay tuned because I’ll have so much more to share ❤️

B 💋

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24 | iWrite | Independent | Soul Searcher | Astrology Weirdo-Gemini ✨

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