Often times when writing, I’d lose clarity on the purpose of my post. That was obviously a HUGE problem! Sure, I was “blogging” per say, but the content was not the greatest. It was all over the place and became so depressing. I’ve always been proud of my writing, as that’s the only thing I could relate to. I HATE MATH. Science isn’t my thing. But I could always count on my words to express myself, even if it sounded crazy!
But for the last 2 to 3 months, I was not proud of my writing. It was a bad sign and hard pill to swallow. At times I’d feel like a hypocrite, especially after re-reading my posts. I’d come back to a published post hours later and think to myself, what the fuck was I thinking? *Delete button* The little cycle started to bother me because I knew I shouldn’t feel ashamed of my content. Since then, I took a short hiatus from writing. It was evident I needed to get right within.
It started about two months ago; I wrote a post victimizing myself.. blaming others for the situations I’d put myself in. Let me start like this, I was not a victim! There are times you are a victim and times you just aren’t. This can happen in any situation, not just the one you’re thinking in your head as you read this. I made a choice and couldn’t woman up to it. So like the brat I can be, I ran on here to vent about my problems. Childish, I know! At that moment, I knew there was a bigger issue to address.
During my hiatus, I took some time to better myself.
- Began analyzing myself & actions.
- Reduced my time on social media.
- Tried meditation. (still working on it)
- Less television and more books!
I’m thankful to realize my wrongs, but it’s still a work in progress. Dramatic change won’t happen overnight. But I’m loving the progress I’ve put in so far! There’s so much more to come and I’m excited to grow. This is my journey on my life! My ups, my downs. My accomplishments, my disappointments. My progress, my setbacks. I plan to share it all because this is my journey to be.